Monday, August 6, 2012


Mad rush this morning to get going.  Finally we charge out the door on the exact dot of leaving o'clock and make our windy way to the bus stop.  Half way there and what do I spy coming towards us, not the right way at all, and turning at the corner juuuust too far away? Yep, our bus.

M dropped his chair into 2nd, revved up the engine and charged towards it, waving wildly.  I attempted to break into a jog, break being the operative word.  This is what we saw:


Right.  I gather the route has changed then?? This has made a good 7 minutes difference to the timetable.  Enough for us to miss it easily and thereby f*ck up our day quite comprehensively.

..sooo... we went back to the flat and reorganised everything.  And rang the bus company who said 'nup, not us, nothing's wrong, have you had your tablet today??''.


Saturday, July 28, 2012

Speechless, again..

.. what with one thing and another.  But this is not a whinge!

Our back yard, before the builders started:

And now look what's happening!! Only 5 weeks in and wow!

Ok, ok, these *may* not be an accurate representation of the work. They are certainly an accurate representation of how I feel about it though!  The builders have been considerate, extremely fast, considerate, masterful, considerate, expert, thoughtful, and considerate. They re-jigged the schedule of works to allow a major tweak to the timing so we don't find ourselves homeless in November.  They 'get' all sorts of things about how to proceed after the house is divided into 'ours' and 'theirs' (ie we will live in part of the renovated house while they finish the other part) and in general are proving to be very fine gentlemen indeed.

My best example of this is that we realised that our wonderful lemon tree, she of at least 30 years hard work providing vitamin C and delight to our home, had to be taken down.  She had, sadly, fruited one of her very best crops this summer and we were all loathe to do it.  But time is not on our side and the expense and disruption of working around one tree was too difficult, and down she had to come. But BEFORE she was cut, the builders picked every lemon on her and saved them for me (in the bassinet!) so we can distribute them to friends (and anyone who wants 5kg of lemons and hasn't realised it yet).  GENTLEMEN, I tell you.

We will have a ceremonial new planting of a lemon tree when we are resident.  I think it should be the first act of recovering the garden.  I am looking forward to it immensely.  I miss gardening very much, as much for the foolish and naughty cat-based activity as much as anything. Recently St Alice of the Garden helped me move and rescue many of my pots so that all the empty ones are safe from droppages and the rest are ready to come and live in our teeny courtyard and be (over) nurtured by me for the rest of the winter. Nurturing is such a strong imperative..

Our pusscat has gone to live with her grandparents* and is living up to her reputation for being strong-minded, feisty, very very insistent, and occasionally quite rewarding.  Early activity included spending 16 hours a day under the bed, followed by (of course it was during the middle of the night!) extreme sports in the form of opening every cupboard, scrabbling at every door and window, jumping where cats don't go, and my favourite, getting into the corner cupboard and riding the lazy susan flinging cake tins off as she went.  This at 3am didn't endear her to my father but my mother just goes 'awww..'. When she pleases, she is accepting pats and sitting on laps, and apart from ripping my mother's thumb off (an ill-advised attempt by ma at soothing a fwighted puss) she's keeping her 'Winning the Crusades One Claw at a Time' side to herself.

I am still here.  Yesterday a perfume sale said "Two orange dot specials for $40".  What was I to do?  Succumb, of course. I picked up these: Hugo Boss 'XX' which is slightly musky and very spicy, and Guess 'Seduction' which is slightly sweetly spicy-warm.. it's so impossible to describe scent.  I die laughing at the descriptions of wine flavours for the same reason - I've seen 'grape-y' (I should hope so); 'hints of earthy chocolate and burnt leaves' (mm, tasty), and 'evokes a sense of limpid summer'.  It does?? Does that mean it's long, humid and sunny?

But I digress.  My M is running on a High Distinction (81%) average for his first semester.  All those dire predictions of mere Passes are of course just nerves talking.  I was allowed to proof-read his final assessment piece and apart from the bits I didn't understand (about 90%) it seemed like a very good piece of work to me.  And I'm right!  His course has changed a little during his absence, so he's thought about upgrading it to a Masters. He was very chuffed to receive an offer to do just this, a couple of weeks ago, and he's accepted.  I'm not sure how many more semesters/subjects this means, but I'm delighted he feels he can achieve this. Of course he can!

I am busy (trying to) choose tiles and taps and benchtops and floors and a vacuum cleaner and windows and sarking (something to do with the roof which is incredibly expensive) and .. such.  I am( almost) amused that tile salesmen can say in the same breath 'oh I LOVE this job, people come in and choose such interesting things' and 'but we don't HAVE coral red and teal'.  I do like contrasts.  I could easily fill a house with amazing colours that bounce and clash and catch the eye and generate energy and warmth and calm and comfort and humour.  I can't see why not!  But the trend (I assume it's a trend) is for tiles to be stuck onto boards in a 'colour story' which is bugging me because a) you can't move the tiles (and therefore try different things), and b) it's someone's idea of a theme which is fine if you like it exactly as is.  Naturally I don't.  I should hastily add that many of the 'stories' are very beautiful, especially the natural stone and terracotta samples.  It's just that I want to use a neutral background and add a bit of 'wow' with my colours, and people keep telling me I can't.  I will, though.

I might stick some photos up of colour ideas in the next post.  It always helps to hear what others think.  Meantime, off I go to save our world again.  Hope you are all warm, well and achieving your wishes, one Wendy at a time..

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

'Finally' doesn't cover it at all..


Our back gate, showing signs of builders. Note the glimpse of someone wearing a High Vis Vest.

Yep, work started yesterday on our house mods.  To the best of my research into email archives, this marks 2 years and 2 months since the subject was first raised by the local government services.  BEFORE the whole insurance company/third party/compensable thing interfered.

I should be excited.  I should be thankful.  I should perhaps be looking forward to the end result.

I did promise elsewhere to work on raising a grin.  That will do, for now.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Oh noes!

.. poor lil puss is in the wars.

A marauding infidel has got into our home, where she lives alone, and there has been some serious biffo.  I found her hiding inside our bed last night, in pain all over and most unhappy.

We feel terribly guilty; she's stayed faithful to us during our absence for the last two and a half years.  She hasn't strayed, gone feral, scratched anything important, or turned the library into a late night jazz hangout for cool cats.

But marauding infidels is a step too far.  We've been havering about what to do with her once the house mods start (and don't ask about that) - the answer is one of these less-than-tempting three options - board her, find someone who will take her for six months or so, or (sob) find her a new home.  We can't really fix this by getting a magnetic cat door, as that wall will be demolished when the mods start, and there are few options for an alternate position.  Also that solution requires her to wear a magnet on a collar, and collars are not much success on her.  So we're a bit stuck.

This week she will stay at the vets, recovering from surgery and being safe while we try to work out what to do.  We absolutely can't have her at the flat, it is forbidden and we are so incredibly grateful to the uni people for allowing us to stay longer than their usual leasing period, we are not going to upset anyone.  M said even if we could have her here, he'd be worried about running her over!

So for now, we are sad and worried and in a big bother about what is the best thing to do.  Saint Libby the vet reports that she is recovering from surgery well, and her sooky mama can visit tomorrow afternoon all going well.


M's accident has led us into some strange places, but this is a hard one.

Update: Mrs Puss had surgery for two nasty wounds, and is now recovering.  I'm doing a hospital visit shortly to apologise for everything.  Meantime my M is in hospital too... a strange week is unrolling...

Monday, June 11, 2012

Another four-letter word..



As in, long weekend.  Lots of time to read and enjoy the sun that pours into the flat.  I have to shield my eyes in the morning as I open my bedroom door - the courtyard door faces east and the sun is almost too bright to penetrate.  Only the thought of coffee (which I can make with my back to the light, phew) gets me through.

It's also divinely sunny in the afternoon as the sun slants over my bed.  Very tempting place to lie and read if feeling slothful.  An inadvertent trip to a bookshop yesterday fuelled my sloth nicely!

Tomorrow is mine all mine.  Sadly I fear the long in tomorrow will be 'long time spent on paperwork', but that's worth it to get it done.

Sort of.



Here's a picture to take my mind off that!

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Colours, squared..

As promised, photos!  (Also, as perhaps implied, not very good photos.  Taken with my phone is my excuse.)

First, here is a photo of some colour inspiration - a Cotinus or smoke bush.  I have several of them growing near the front entry of the house. At this time of year they are fading from darkest red/brown into their autumn colours.  I like the vivid orange against the red brick wall, offset by the grey foliage of the curry plants on the right.

Many of the wools are a fleck or variegated.  This doesn't show up very well in such strong light, except for the gradations in the brown 'triangles'. The entire centre offset square and about half the surrounding stripes is made from 2 skeins of a variegated boucle.  I'm trying to work in some teals and a bit of grey to offset the rich red/brown tones.

Square draped over the couch, in the shadow of the screen door. Once again the direct light is bleaching out the colours a bit but you get the idea.

Creative energy is always well-spent.  What a pity I don't feel that managing paperwork, wrangling Important Things and doing the washing are creative activities!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Working on changing..

. the shoulds into coulds.

This is a much more positive mindset.  Perhaps because the sun came out after some evil chilly winds?  Perhaps because a few days of complete rest is a good idea from time to time.. perhaps because my honey smiled a lot on the weekend while we blobbed around. It's better, anyway.

I'll refrain from making a list.  Needless to say I haven't done all I could, or should.  Or can.  But when faced (yesterday) with the need to decide what to do today with my sis (my acquired sis, for those who might wonder), I ran my mind over the endless list of tasks and opted instead for 'going to the movies'.  We were lucky, the right movie was on at the right time, and thanks to some sisterly coordination were fully supplied with a sandwich and a coffee during the screening.  We went to see this and enjoyed it very much.  Not the most profound movie, not the most sophisticated, but very fine entertainment.  

And the cinema is in the same shopping centre as one of the very few yarn outlets in Canberra.  I was forced, forced I tell you, to have a look and see if I could find some of the RIGHT purple for my current craft project - a very simple crocheted square which is growing up to be a blanket for M's bed.  You want a picture?  I shall try to get one in the sunlight tomorrow and post it in the next snort.

I rarely start making something with any plan, let alone any pattern.  I look through my wool; fiddle around with some colours; pick up some needles or a crochet hook, and off I go.  I have an idea; I want to try a new stitch; I'm inspired by the colours in an artwork or a piece of fabric.  Sometimes I've bought wool because it was so beautiful I couldn't leave it behind.  Knowing that at some point I would look at the colours and feel inspired to start something.  I don't make clothes. Yet! (I've started making a sock about eleventeen times and never made it past the first five rows).

I just start making something.  It tells me it wants to be a big square or a long rectangle or a scarf or a thing made up of lots of little bits of things.  And I work on it, happily letting it emerge as itself. That is quite fascinating but what happens next is magic - it finds a home.  It finds a purpose, a new owner/admirer; it turns out to be someone's favourite colour or just the right size for their cushion or perfect for keeping in the car.  It flings itself around the neck or lap or furniture of the home it wants to go to.

Finding its home can take time but without fail, something I have loved making but don't NEED to keep, will be just the thing for someone or something (the cats of my life have notably taken over many of these woolly creations).  And off it goes!  The wonderful thing about this process is that I never feel 'oh I can't make another one of these, what will I do with it?' etc.  I KNOW it will find a home eventually. And no, I don't have great stacks of creations lying around.  Remarkably few apart from those already in service.

See?  The magic works.

Here is a drawing of a fantasy woolly object.  I've used some of my favourite colours.  Tomorrow, a photo I promise.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Should be but aren't..

This week we 'should be' celebrating.

We 'should be' finished with M's exam for the semester.

It 'should be' a calm, slow ease into the proper beginning of winter.

I 'should be' feeling that I've bested the paperwork for now.

(Sone of) The dollars we are owed from the insurance company 'should be' already paid.

The parade of medico-legal appointments 'should be' easing.


this is a bad drawing of how I feel.  It kind of looks like a miasma melting into some failed caramel fudge.


Friday, May 18, 2012

Read this...

.. in a very small font... so that no pesky interfering gods hear it.. 
Today we had a (small) win with the bank ..

The journey to mortgage-land has been rough, long, bumpy and nothing if not full of billabongs, culs-de-sac and backwards movements in all directions.

A few days ago I signed dozens of bits of paperwork and was told 'this is it'.  I've heard that before but this time it seemed to me that with my autograph all over things, it might mean something.


MORE bits of paper required.  A certificate of currency (don't most people call that paper money?).  Registered thingies with the land titles office.  Double-header falling into a bureaucratic minefield of 'they said you have to', 'our lawyers said', 'it's required'... and such.  I had another request for such things this morning; my best (ie least aggressive, furious or bleep-laden) response was to turn my phone off.

Several hours later (and an/other huge medico-legal meeting over with) I turn the phone back on.  Many missed calls from Blocked.  Blocked rings me a lot. Mostly, Blocked is very shy and refuses to leave a message.  I get an auto-phone message saying 'An unknown caller from unknown number rang you and didn't leave a message'. Well, yeah..

But, but, I did get a call from The Bank Boss with a big apology. Apparently this week's paperwork requests are all wrong and the big boss never knew and there were bloods on the office carpet and quivering minions hiding in the shredder.. This is a easier thing to hear than all those reasons why *I* had to spend hours doing more things with no guarantee it would go smoothly.  I just sort of can't keep doing this stuff.  There be only one of me!!!  Anyway TBB also made a promise to front up at our place on Monday, bearing PROPER papers and another promise that after signing, yes of COURSE all those nice dollars will be ours, all ours.  A nice big debt to start off the week like good little (somewhat nervous) consumers.

And THAT means..


maybe  (shhhh)

possibly  (cross everything)

just about  (hopehopehope)

the house mods might start.

Don't gasp until I put up a photo of something REAL.  Like a bit of dug-up garden.. or a half-torn down wall.. or even a pile of builder's sand.  OOoooh, maybe even a concrete mixer!!  I like them.


This week brought to you by the quiet tears of a anguished angel watching over my shoulder; the memory of train doors closing in Paris (where my baby is right now, and where we were a little while ago, having a very different life, and we were very happy there);  aaaand the ghost of a suggestion of some Gucci, sprayed on my coat on a better day.

UPDATE: Yesterday we signed more zillions of papers. We took them to be witnessed and later the bank person rang to say the release of the first batch of dollars was available.  This cost us money!!  Nice one bank.  But then again, nice one, bank!

This update brought to you by eau-de-hydrotherapy pool, the hottest water I've ever swum in.  I am therapeutically dehydrated but fine.

Monday, May 14, 2012


Wickedness and flummery!!

Why is it that when it comes to the sharp end of managing dollars for education, institutions often look first and fiercely at 'cost-effectiveness' and 'economic rationalism' to make cuts?

Why is it that the arts therefore suffers as a discipline so badly?  What happened to the cultural value of every facet of the arts and the crucial role it plays in our lives?  Where would we be without music, beauty, vision, appreciation, absorption, discussion and anarchy?  We are all exposed to aspects of art the moment we open our eyes, ears, minds.. our homes, our furniture, the sounds we hear both man-made and natural, the colours, the textures, the print material, the ideas and thoughts we have are all shaped by our surroundings and what we bring to them as humans.

Today there was a rally at the ANU to allow the community to express its outrage at the recently announced drastic funding cuts to the School of Music.  I went along to add my voice, such as it is, to the assembly.

It is a total mystery to me that a Power That Be is prepared to put a cost on the value of teaching music.  Or, more to the point, to put a cost on TAKING AWAY resources and opportunities from within the school.  How can the PTB calculate the value of this?

There is a whole huge debate about the specifics, and what the vision is and could be, for the School. I won't get into that. I just want to have my say about the mystery of why economics and debt and business management are somehow the driving forces behind providing cultural capital, which is a concept not a service or a sale-able article.  I'm sure that the hard-working students who take on law, or computer science, or physics are perfectly able to work with concepts and apply them to how we as humans live and interact with each other and the environment.  So why is there this bias?  I don't suppose any of us would easily throw away the rights and protection we have in law; would truly like to try to live in today without the help of computers and programming and all the millions of ways they facilite processes; would prefer to throw away the collective value of learning in any discipline.  What we don't directly experience is not cultural refuse!


I saw this today and it sums up quite a lot of what I think and feel about this:

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Another Distinction!

M passed his hospital tests with flying colours. No abnormalities, signs of Nasty Things To Come, stones, cancerous anythings, kinks, wibbles or furfles.

It took nearly 9 hours door to door, although the procedure itself took barely 15 minutes.  We were both asleep when the carers came at 9pm to help M into bed. I sacked out fully dressed in the bed, woke up at 3am and got meself organised.  M was asleep in his chair and has no memory of being moved!

Interesting.  We didn't endure any trauma, we weren't particularly nervous or upset.  Mostly we sat/lay around.  I guess the amount of nervous tension we did have was enough to wear us out.  And usually good news gives you a boost.

Oh well.

He's clear now for (the doc said) a good 10 to 15 years!  I'll hold him to that.

I feel a drawing coming on for my next post!

Thursday brought to you by eau d'hospital.  Friday brought to you by my dear friend Gucci.  I might consult him further today!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Didn't happen...

I was briefly inspired to draw my impressions of the weekdays (previous post).  But it didn't amount to anything,  Another time maybe.

This week we seem to be working working working.  M is busy with uni classes and (no surprise to me) he achieved a Distinction for his first assignment. I TOLD you he wouldn't get a pass!  He's sort of pleased but I think still expects the 98.5% he (over)achieved in his previous semester (before the accident).  I seem to recall feeling somewhat like that when I was studying, but I never achieved such lofty marks!

We've been trying to sort out the contents of the house and garden, finalise the mortgage, re-work the architect's plan, apologise to the cat, get to class, cookwashsewknitdomesticate, see umpteen doctors all the time, get to physio, manage our 3-tiered diary system (yes, folly I know) and have some sort of leisure.  Tricky but possible as long as you don't look at the floor.

Today the cleaner came. Hurray for the cleaner! I think he had to rake the carpet before he vacuumed.

Tomorrow M must fast from 7am before having a small procedure at day surgery. We hope this will lead to a long-term improvement in his general health by clearing up a source of recurring infection.  M blithely announced we would be returning from the hospital (at 6pm) by BUS.  At NIGHT.  In (relatively) PEAK HOUR.  I don't think so.  I just sent messages to our three favourite taxi drivers to see if we can get a lift home. I don't fancy a post-sedated M in a power chair on a bus with lots of people.  Well, only as a spectator sport..

It feels a bit like we've got a routine.  I suspect it's dangerous to say that but .. I live in hope!

This post brought to you by quite a lot of Prada, sprayed in M's room last night when the carers said it smelled of cabbage in there... as far as I know M doesn't secretly cook brassicas in there at night, but it was a good excuse!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Staring out the window..

 It's Saturday.

I've been *thinking*..

Like this:

sa TURD-ay
s UN-day
m ON-day
t USE-day
w NEEDS-day
f RID-ay

A theme for every day of the week!

I shall draw them up for the nexpost.

Friday, May 4, 2012


I reckon I've had more rest in the last week than for months.  Thanks to a mixture of Things Settling Down, both of us needing to sleep a lot on Wednesday (M definitely sick, me maybe - I felt fine the next day), and a lack of Important Appointments To Be Attended To.

M was put back on the sick list on Tuesday after a visit to our GP.  Who nonchalantly took M's temp and it was 38C.  What??  Quick, where are the antibiotics?

We had an adventure today - we took the bus to one of the local hospitals to get M an xray.  [I was amused by the booking process - it's a 1300 number and very streamlined.  They *do* ask if you have any special needs, so I was able to say 'well yes, we need the right time, the right place and the right staff to help us' and after a small hesitation the person on the line sorted it all out purrfectly for me. Us, that is.]  Off we went, arriving in good time to test the cafe before his appointment (no, I didn't plan that.  It was A Happy Accident).  I was greatly troubled by the cake display - pink donuts AND pink lamingtons with real cream filling!  I've been regretting that sudden flash of spirit which made me say NO, ever since.  PINK LAMINGTONS!!

We're expecting the xray to show that M is doing fine and the pills are working.  We adventured back to the flat easily, and I was pleased that nothing alarming happened this time.  Recent bus trips have exposed some of the things which can be a problem - mostly, other people, who are impatient, or get in the way, or try to be helpful and make M flustered and me cross.  For example, if you see someone in a power chair manoeuvring back and forth in a small space, DON'T step into it to try to push him.  You won't be able to push the 200kg+ of him plus chair, you're likely to get your foot HEAVILY run over, and you'll get in his way, make him feel deaf and stupid, and require me to be sharp and dismissive.  You wouldn't want that, would you??  People in wheelies who are using buses are in fact extremely competent, because they've learned a lot of skills before they try catching buses.  So, a bit of respect, please.  Wait until we ASK for help.

Ahem.  Off soapbox.. another hazard is the bus driver taking off before M's in position.  YOU try moving a power chair on a moving surface!  High risk activity for his wife (who gets easily alarmed when she perceives a husband rolling uncontrolled across a crowded bus aisle..). We also get into tangles when bags get caught on chair backs, other people dare to come on the bus with *their* mobility aids, and worst of all was the trip we took when there was already someone in a (manual) chair.  There wasn't really enough room and M had to travel 'backwards' which is not disastrous but got him disoriented for a bit.

However no bus driver has ever asked me for a fare, and twice when I've offered to pay I've been waved away.  M travels free.  Sometimes another passenger will leap up and unfold the ramp for the driver - very generous.  I really appreciate how easy this is for us - I wouldn't care to try it in peak hour with a crush of passengers, but during the day we're managing very well, and M has had the confidence to make a couple of short trips on his own.

... but I was speaking of rest. Well, what can I say?  Now that I look carefully at my emails, messages, mail and unfinished tasks, I see that all this resting must stop, preferably before it started.  Small fires keep breaking out no matter how much I clutch my gin and tonic and point the hose.  There are the usual legal/insurance complexities, the much-yearned-for start of the house mods (the loan people STILL need more bits of paper), our team of supporting allied health care workers have many trenchant questions for us about equipment and services, and I am neglecting my physio again.

We have declared tomorrow to be a Paperwork Day, and M is threatening to help sort (some of) my BAGS of paperwork.  I'm not so sure I want him to know either just how much there is, or see my (dis)order of priorities.  Nice big bits of papers with green texta titles works for me.  Many would suggest a filing cabinet but I want to approach this slowly from a position of firm ignore.  I tend towards the belief that if They want it badly enough, They'll write/ask/send again.  If *I* need it badly enough, I'll either find it or get a copy or decide it doesn't really matter (don't tell dad I said that).


we're fine.  No explosions this week.  None planned although if you ask me about the insurance company I can't promise.

We might see a breaking of the sod next week, if all this talk of loans turns into dollars that can be flung at the builder.

My cattie enjoyed a sprint around the garden at dusk (the morning feeder forgot to let her out.  As she was noticeably sleepy when I turned up in the late afternoon, I don't think she suffered too much).  I quite enjoyed it too, seeing my garden turning all the warm autumn colours. Only a few cape daisies and the teeniest sprig of blue salvia to counter all that fiery display.

Roll on weekend (there's a concept for someone clever - the roll-on weekend.  Think of the applications!).

I'm wearing Jo Malone 'Lime, Basil and Mandarin' cologne this week.  I smell a bit like the makings of an excellent Thai dinner.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

I said this..

.. elsewhere.  And some people didn't get it.  See what you think:

I've changed my mind. I found a psycho-delic one.

Monday, April 23, 2012


..on the understandable but not always easy to tolerate focus of the invalid. On the long-time resident of hospital recently discharged into the rather dodgy care of the wife. Or even on the battered relying on the lame..

Lame pretty much describes my abilities today.  Two friends are mourning two excellent moggies.  The new 'case' 'manager' visited and told us she's been approved for a whole five hours of work.  She'll be working very hard to get across all the services and coordination we need from her then!

Caveats, killer caveats.  The company that has this awesome power over our lives has managed to wield its stick quite effectively at us today.  We're upset, frustrated and horrified.  Somewhere in there we signed more important papers to do with the house mods starting.

I figure this blog has to stay real for me to be interested, so the bad days have to get some press as well.

Move along, no sunshiney sweetness here today.  Sorry.

Thursday, April 19, 2012


Today we had A Day Off.

We slept more, ate poached eggs for lunch, watched a dvd all arvo, held hands and ignored all business matters.  The list of missed calls/texts on my phone was ridiculous. Who is BLOCKED and why won't he/she leave a message?

It can wait.  If whatever 'it' is doesn't require more calls or at least a message, I don't care (today).

I had a LAVISH shower very late (lavish = more than 3 mins and more than a basic soap sluice.  Unguents were carefully chosen and applied with abandon. Slathering and lathering is excellent physio btw.  Choosing which pretty tube to try next was adolescently exciting!!).  Felt great.  Smelt great.  I roold for a bit after that!

Went to pick up Persian casserole from me ma (chicken with prunes, pomegranate seeds and much pilaf-y goodness).  Collected Custard Cremes on special and some weird fig/chocolate/lemon icecream to try.

We had a nice time watching the Svensk police show, set in Ystad (southern Sweden) where we've been. Some of the town scenes show streets and the central city square we remember very clearly.  Nice.  One part of the episode had some mild swearing in it but we can't quite catch the word for 'shit'.  I like using such words from other languages but don't know nearly enough of them...

[M refused to teach me any bad words in Mandarin, when we lived in China.  I think he felt my command of anglo-saxon creative cursing would keep me going.. one day we were wobbling along on Beijing bikes (old, rickety and we didn't know the road rules) and M hit a bump.  He let fly with an 'Oh f@%k!!". A group of young men watching us pass laughed and called after us 'Oh ffaaaar!! oh ffaaarr!' until we got out of range.  I giggled a lot.  M was not impressed.  He still wouldn't tell me how to respond in kind.  Later that day *I* was given a sheet of printed info but not him, as we drove around the district.  He translated THAT for me, it was a natural cure for impotence.  I'm still laughing at that one!]

Later a check of FBook shows that some people have had a very different kind of day.  One dear friend has a kitty very short of life chances.  The great purple kitty cushion next to the great kitty bowl of sardines and cream is looming.. poor baby.  I want to visit him soon so he can play in my car and give me a good old fat-faced purry rub before he floats off to his ultimate kitty-cloud.

Another friend saw her child hit (no, not serious in physical damage) by a car and is naturally dreadfully shaken.  The child has a bruised nose and seems fine.  Poor mama (and no doubt papa and many close family and friends) have all had a mortality check today.  These things just happen in a split second in time, and the 'nearly but not quite' situations we've all been in will be very stirred up for a while.  This friend hesitated to fulfill her desire to go back to skul to hug her elflet: the need for reassurance and connection is so strong.  Just as with the msgs of sadness for dear sick kitty, the shock and sympathy for a possibly very nasty outcome for the elflet is our own need to integrate compassion and a sense of 'you are not alone' into our words of comfort.

A newly-found skul-mate is struggling with periods of loss of sense of humour, as (I assume) various irks and anxieties loom at her.  She's living alone and that can be a challenge at times when you have to try to comfort/encourage/support yourself.  I just hope she's got a 6 pack of her favourite tipple and a reeeaallly big glass and will read the silly message I sent earlier.

It's very very interesting to be meeting old skul mates after 35 years of no contact.  I remember many things with crystal clarity; the downside is the rest I seem to have totally forgotten. But since I've grown up in the meantime (in age if nothing else) I can follow where people are at, a bit better.  This pal seems to be living a similar life to mine (in the ten years 'between husbands' period).  During this time I achieved a huge amount of personal insight, experience, confidence and achievement, and also learnt a bit about being alone and trying to find motivation from within, when having a partner or parent or someone loving to hand wasn't possible.  I think this pal is such a honey and I wish we could find more time to fill in all those years of life that passed by..

I hope tonight all familys concerned (and all of you out there who may need a psychic bandaid of some kind, or may be fragile for any number of reasons) will accept a big cyber-squish from me. One of those hugs where you nuzzle hair, squish boobs/feel all the stuff in a bloke's shirt pocket, and stand on tip-toe to make the most of the close contact to send your message of love and caring.  I'm imagining a circle of dear ones surrounding the kitty/kiddy families, and sort of dancing gently around them all until the affection overcomes the sadness and the shock.

And there should be a bunch of old skul farts mooching around at my pal's place, feeling awkward about PDAs but meaning well.  Someone just put on a Peter Framptom record for us and soon we'll all be holding onto someone and dancing around.  Laughing at our funny out-of-date music. We'll (c)rock-on to Living In The 70s and feel our ancient oats one more time.

Tomorrow is Facing Up To Business Day.  I am fortifying myself with red socks, the daggy hairband hairdo, and the promise of Saturday to come within 24 hours.  Big Brekky day!

I'm rambling a bit.  Never mind.  Better than doing housework, wrangling lists or gargling pain tabs as I often do at this time of day.  In fact.. what was that about icecream?  Maybe I should try it with a sleepy-time nip of bourbon on top.  Purely medicinal I assure you.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

My guiding principles..

Don't get me wrong - I'd do it all again in a HEARTBEAT, for M.
I just get a

Wednesday? already??..

Later I will draw a picture of what I've been doing.  For now I'd like to mention that today, as of about 2 hours ago, marks fourteen years of blissful wedded bliss for us.  Which means in three month's time, it's been fifteen years since we met!  And HASN'T the time flown!

No I'm not being ironic. Sometimes life goooeess veeerrry sloooowwwly for sad or mad reasons.  I've had times like that - I look back and wonder how each day ever passed.  Like oh for example, the non-sleeping, non-eating baby who was (not surprisingly) a bit grumpy for quite a long time til he worked out how to eat.  Then he had to work out how to raise his parents.  Poor lil chap.

Time moves faster when things are going well or very very badly.  And I'm not fishing for sympathy when I say we've had a bit of both lately.  I'm GLAD I can't really remember what it was like for the first few months, when M was in Intensive Care and life was so far beyond upside-down .. I'm glad HE can't really remember either.  Like the early days with a baby, the repetition and intensity make memory blurry when you look back.  And what a relief to be able to forget some of it!  These days we still surprise ourselves with the trivial things that make us tetchy.  I hold back from being really Pollyanna and saying 'well isn't it a BLESSING that we are so CALM and GOOD now that we can swear at the WEATHER, or pout if the bloody RED face washer makes the WHITE wash go pink again'.. but I think I'm enjoying the lack of Big Scary Things Which Must Be Attended To.

Just don't ask me about my to-do list..

We're celebrating in two perhaps slightly odd ways - M got his first major assignment in. Yes, !!!!!!!!!! This essay has taken quite a toll, given he was back in hospital with pneumonia; then not long after that feeling grim and on bed rest.  And then trying to convalesce while being nagged by physios, dodging the exploding wife, and coping without a cat in the house. But he has pushed and pushed and studied and offered dire predictions about only getting a scant pass mark (yeah right) and dithered and gloomed.. and refused to let me read it (no doubt cos I'd be annoying positive and encouraging and HELPFUL and sometimes you need to d and g to keep yourself focussed).. BUT today while I was wrangling a computer at Real Home (while Miss Wendy tried to sit on my back) he texted me to say it was submitted.  My shoulders felt a great weight fall, then a little prickle of claws..

My odd celebration was a call from the bank from a bloooke caaaallleed Peeeettteeerr whooo taaaalllkeed reeealllyy slllooooowwwwlly but eventually got to the point which is that our loan to cover the house mods is APPROVED.  I will refrain from putting another twenty exclamation marks in, but you get it don't you????


We are delaying an official celebration until tomorrow, when it might have stopped raining and being a bit too cold to go out.  I fancy taking the bus (stop that laughing) into town and having something immoderate for lunch and then finding a cd shop.  Possibly a bit of hand-holding.  Certainly not any more of the work I've been trying to do all week.  A day off, ferfu.. er .. I mean, please.

I looked at some perfume today.  Big-boned Molly's mum will be horrified to hear that I gave into temptation and bought a version of Cabotine - Cabotine "Rose".  Forgive me BBM'sM; I will at least not send it to you! (it's very nice but)...

Friday, April 13, 2012


.. didn't start well.


I face-booked my woe; collected cyber-hugs and some towels, and strode forth into the autumn sunshine to do battle with gremlins inner, outer and overall.

I had a very good toasted sammo.

I only bought one packet of biscuits.

Dear ones in the family spent time with M while I was out; I returned to a much happier M and felt glad to be back.  Throughout it all, I wore...




Thursday, April 12, 2012

M is a bit sick..

.. so he's in bed.  I'm dashin about lodging forms for things and being efficient and such.  Again.

I read some amusing stuff on one of my favourite blogs today ( about one's Inner Knitter.  I'm not sure whether the blog entry or the comments are funnier. But there is some priceless stuff about the Inner Adolescent which gave me a good laugh in the middle of a bit of an ordinary day.  I think my condition is more one of adolescent senility..

M is going to be fine.  No ambulances to be seen here, move along please.

No perfume was harmed in the writing of this post.  However a dire need for a cat arose and I'm not sure how best to assuage it.  Going home isn't possible just now.


(The word not the beast..)

Monday, April 9, 2012

So that was Easter..

..and now it's over.

That's good.  Maybe it's something in the water, maybe not; but Easter didn't shine my shoes this year.  I did nice things, saw nice people, even took some photos...

It's true to say life is somewhat the same for us, regardless of which day of the week it is.  The iron-clad timetable of carers in, three times a day; M's daily routine etc which must be fitted into the carer and pharmacological routine, is also pretty rigid.

Maybe I need to work on floppy?

Currently waiting for good cooking smells to fill the flat (corned beef in red wine, anyone?) and my personal fabbo-meter to register a small ~eep~.

Maybe next year...

Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Late-night googling..

.. is never disappointing.  Look at this..

This can't be right (but it is)...

Thanks to the vagaries of a life ruled by the forces (and farces) of an insurance company, I've had to pay out multiple many shekels of hard-earned superannuation recently.

Now we are reduced to eating toasted gravel and re-using our socks for teabags.  Yes, I will eventually (and that's a loooong eventuation) be re-paid, after a fight about the details and no doubt lots of nice expensive correspondence via the solicitor.

It's absolutely NOT fair, but it is the way it has to be.  They are indeed liable; the crucial question is 'for how much?' and that is what all the arguing and denying and madness is about.  We forge on, counting our small triumphs as we go, and trying not to get caught in the emotion of it all.

I have wondered, sometimes, how any decent person could work for such a company, but of course it's not about us or the human element or fairness in general, it's just business.  They want to protect their investment from illegal claims and make their shareholders happy.  When we feel like we're being singled out, we're wrong. Not only does every person making a claim have to go through a similar process (not necessarily as complicated a process as ours, but the same basic forces apply); every person is both benefitting and being compromised by this process. Our claims for third party or flood damage or burglary are all equally subject to the scrutiny and regulations that rule this industry and guide how it operates.

That doesn't make it easier.  It just makes it impersonal.  It's not ME, or M, who is being treated this way.  It's claim # 550293B-iiZ and it goes through all the office processes just like every other claim.

Some of you who read this blog may find this concept comforting, or become even more annoyed or frustrated for us!  Don't, though.  Remember we have excellent help; we're in the right, and we WILL get M home and get back to whatever our new lives are going to be.

I, myself, may need to sit down heavily for a bit once the settlement is settled.  Possibly requiring some spontaneous unnecessary pamper-shopping to relieve my feelings via unguent-therapy.  M may feel he needs to acquire another 200 books.  Whatever works, once we get there.

I visited Little Miss Wendy's house tonight to borrow the vacuum cleaner.  She squeaked and rubbed and meowwwwed and demanded foods until I gave in, although it was clear her evening meal had already been served and thoroughly consumed. Then she led me to my side of the bed and indicated I might lie down for her delectation.

As I was unable to oblige (needing to return to my honey) I am sorry to report that as I departed, she was stomping around the kitchen snarling to herself about being quicker on the uptake to bite me when she has the chance.

Poor puss.  Lucky me!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Wend, wend..

We are calmly wending our way towards Easter.  My explosion-count is down.  M is recovering well from the last hospital experience.  Here he is watching opera, attended by his faithful moi..

He is making me go with him on the BUS to get things done in the city shops. BUS!! Princesses don't DO buses do they?

Apparently, yes they do.  Hmm.  [I should add that the bus is incredibly convenient - the driver lowers the bus to pavement level, then nips out and unfolds the ramp.  An unexpected side effect is that (so far) they've refused to charge either of us a fare.  Nice.  It takes ten minutes to get into the city so I really can't complain.  But I do note that I am not as flexible as I used to be about bumpiness!]

The bus, going the other way, stops at several other very useful places, like M's favourite pub, the shops where the late-night chemist is (much-frequented by me of late); one stop up is M's church, and a little way further we can get off and it's a 15 minute walk home.  Whence we wend our way to Wendy.

Sorry, I just had to say that!

I can't smell a thing so I can only hope that this post is brought to you by eau de spag bol, clean linen and a thoughtful pshht of Gucci (cos why should the rest of you miss out??).

Thursday, March 29, 2012

I'll say it again...

.. one of my favourite four-letter words is


even tho we don't have The Cat.. Shhh!!!

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

I get it from my cat..

We got very frustrated today at missing the head doc, again.  He's the slippery fellow who nips in to read notes while the patient is in the shower, makes decisions and writes them down in illegible script, and eels off again before anything nasty happens... oh, like, someone asking him a QUESTION, for example.

We asked to see the medical registrar, as my concerns for M's nursing care/para needs were still rising, and M was getting increasingly frustrated at being left without a buzzer, not showered, ignored, and basically given very ordinary care beyond his chest needs.

Medical registrar came, with her medical student.  Two angels!  They listened, sym/empathised, took notes, answered questions, and agreed that Dr God was a very difficult fellow to work with. Then they made a miracle happen.  They took our questions about why M was staying in hospital with NO idea about the diagnosis, proposed treatment, length of stay, some other fancy ideas about the patient having choices as well.. and got



- Yes M could change over to oral antibiotics (and therefore ditch the cannula and manage at home)
- No M didn't need any further physio (he wasn't getting any anyway, ahem) (and therefore not need physio followup at home)
- No M didn't have any lingering nasties in his lungs or anywhere else (and therefore didn't .. need .. to .. be .. in .. hospital?????)



Yes, M could go home.  We hastily begged these two angelic women to write the discharge report, order the meds and perform just the one last miracle before discharge: make it happen before tea time because after 6pm it's pretty much impossible to get discharged).


they did!

We quickly organised carers, transport, packing etc.  And in record time, only one and a half hours since we got the word, M was rolling into a taxi and I was heading for home with his suitcase.

There never was a proper decision about whether M had pneumonia or was incidentally a bit yukky as to chest but was developing a UTI.  There never was an answer from pathology about M's throat swab.  He clearly responded to the two antibiotics given, didn't develop any further nasty symptoms, and was mostly suffering from extreme frustration.


But we are so very very glad we got out away from the dangers of hospital super-bugs and insufficient para care and wardsmen who broke bits of M's wheelchair etc etc.  I do know and understand that nursing care is heavily compromised by lack of staff, resources, rotten pay, questionable working conditions etc.  And I also acknowledge that M was on a respiratory ward whose main business is breathing.

But.. FOUR HOURS to get him showered and dressed?
No buzzer for an hour, in spite of him using his mobile to ring the desk and beg for help, three times? (What if he'd choked, or had an asthma attack??  No-one would have known.  I didn't sleep that night, thanks very much).
No protocols for: managing a para on bed rest; catheter care; use of hoists/slings/shower chairs?

It's THE major hospital in these parts. M can't be the only para/quad who has needed help.  I got very angry when one particularly diffident nurse kept saying 'but I busy, I busy'.  And??? Where is the duty of care?  Why were our questions ignored? I could see myself having to find the energy to find the person in charge and sit down for a contained explosion about basic care for paras and writing a list of special needs.  The medical registrar had, bless her, already suggested M needed special care (a higher percentage of nurse time to patient) and I have no doubt she would have followed through.  I note that Dr God didn't address it at all.

I rant.

I must!!!!!  This is the nature of advocacy.

[WHAT exactly do I get from my cat?? - purrsistence, of course!]

Monday, March 26, 2012

Back in limbo..

M is recovering but the situation at the hospital is very poor in terms of his non-respiratory needs.  Yesterday it took FOUR HOURS for the nurses to get him up, showered and dressed.  Exhausting and frustrating for him.  Later the wardsmen getting him back to bed broke a small but crucial part on his wheelchair.  We are so vulnerable..

I fell over on the weekend, needing to sleep and beat my dang sinuses into submission.  I think my immune system takes careful note of when there is a chink of time for me to actually stop, and takes advantage.  Nothing else explains it.  The thought that a body system has functioning sentience is a bit scary tho!

Nothing else to report except a very happy cat thanks to resident me for a few days.  I'll have to stop this indulgence very soon.  We don't know how long M will have to stay in hospital but are hopeful it won't be too long, as he's continuing to respond well.  I stuck a small bomb under the doc this morning about slack physios (they have been seeing M but not doing anything, I pointed out the value of proactive management vs wait-n-see).

I see that in a former life I did something (I do wonder WHAT) which means that in this life I seem doomed to spend lots of time pointing out the bleedin obvious to people.  I sometimes wonder if I should just have a tattoo on my forehead which says JUST DO YOUR JOB.

It will never catch on.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

No no!..

Thank you oh interfering gods of mischief. M returned to hospital in the early hours of the morning today with an egg-frying temp. The fever was reduced fairly quickly, other things took longer.  Diagnosis is pneumonia, UTI and a throat infection.

It scared me how fast it came on. But ambos were quick and amazing.  The hospital staff also quick and amazing to give first treatments.  Now he's waiting, waiting for a bed in the respiratory ward.  I've been home to sleep and woken to find I'm not so well myself.  Family and friends will be, as always, amazing and helpful and supportive.


sod it.

UPDATE: M has been admitted to the respiratory ward and is stable.  He'll need to be in hospital for several days at least.  I'm taking my coffee pot and my book and going home to my cat.  

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

All I can say..

is (no, not another Gaga quote!)..

today is nearly over.  And..

.. no perfume was harmed in the having of this day.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The other day...

I heard
half a conversation
folded in on
her drama

claw-hand clutched his
he leaned toward

I heard only him
tightened the grasp
her hair
against his willing words

the more
he tried
the harder
she resisted;
no simple solution
would fit

I left;
however easy
the answer
how hard
to accept it
and give up
the satisfaction
of such

Saturday, March 10, 2012

A thoughtful series of remarks..

I'm lucky to have a good friend (let's name this friend Sam), who shares (mostly in a very amusing way) stories of the dysfunctional family Sam belongs to.  Sam's experience is that although immediate family members are still alive, they are not loving or respectful. But they still make it clear what Sam's role is in their construct of what 'family' needs to mean and what therefore can be asked or demanded or assumed from Sam as part of the family unit. Apart from my emotional reaction to this situation, it raises all sorts of issues about what 'belonging' means, and the strength (and therefore amount of love and pain) that these ties can engender.

We all want to feel we are part of a greater social whole. Our social world begins with our immediate family (usually) and grows out from there, through friends and school and extended family and work etc etc. Usually. But what about our expectations?  They tend to grow along with what we witness and experience.  So if you come from a loving family and having loving people around you in your greater world, you learn to expect that those people will, in the main, treat you kindly.  Will listen, and care about what you say, and generally interact with you as an equal.  There will be times when this isn't so, but these situations will be resolved without huge emotional stresses or 'deal-breaking' situations.  You are in essence able to be fairly certain of your foundations.

But what happens when your starting point, your immediate family members, have a different way of operating? If their emotional makeup is flawed or skewed or a result of their earlier life experience causing scars?  If somehow their model has been flawed and they're not able to pass on the loving, accepting model because they haven't experienced it?  Or if, say, they are not insightful, reflective people, or emotionally responsible people, or even people who don't much care what impact they have on others, and whose ideas and feelings don't get scrutinised?  We can't all have the good fortune of strong emotional foundations and positive life experience and the inner strength and wisdom to find our way.

My point is that we learn from what we know, and if what we know is something that causes us pain or frustration or anger or something deeply disturbing in some way, what are we to do with it?  Our own emotional evolution is something we can choose to think about and perhaps explore and modify.  If, say, we are filled with guilt and paralysed by this guilt, we can seek ways to examine the guilt and try to find a more emotionally effective way to live with ourselves.  We can make choices about what we choose to carry as emotional baggage, and what we want to make peace with, and even what we want to leave alone because it's part of what makes us feel vulnerable.

When we turn to our family to help us, or accept us, or respect us as equal in emotional status, we are putting our selves in a position of some kind of need.  And if those family members are not able to accept or meet this need, we're in a very vulnerable position indeed.  Being needy and asking for help is admitting that there's something we can't do, can't manage, or can't understand.  Expecting those close to us to treat this with respect and not exploit this vulnerability can be a gamble.  If your experience is that admitting neediness is probably going to lead to a situation where you are ignored, exploited, ridiculed or made to feel you are 'lesser' somehow, what does this teach you?

I think you learn, very quickly, to keep your needs out of the equation.  If 'belonging' is something you need to feel, you have to change your expectations and understand that you won't get the acceptance and respect you feel you deserve.  This is insidious stuff, and in my view can lead to crippling outbreaks of anxiety, feelings of abandonment and low self-esteem.  Because if your family doesn't accept you as you are, where do you turn?  Many people learn that close friends are safer, more reliable and stronger emotional relationships to participate in.  Friends we can choose.  Friends can be that unconditional accepting emotional model we all want to participate in.

Sam is caught in a very unpleasant place - wanting both to cut ties and to feel that Sam can belong  as the person Sam is.  There is much to lose by choosing either position, and it doesn't surprise me at all that Sam can't choose.

In my own explorations of these kind of emotional ties and expectations within the family, I frequently forget that what *I* feel is generally understood; but it may not be the case for all the others.  I am as capable as the next person of thinking it's all about me, and forgetting that the others, as close to them as I feel, might have other priorities and other emotional pulls on their resources.  I make lots of mistakes but I believe that I at least try to start from a loving, accepting point of view.

It hurts a lot when things don't pan out, and somehow I or we or they end up stumbling over false expectations or simply wrong ideas and assumptions.  Like everyone else, I want to belong, and to participate, and to feel that my 'stuff' gets equal time.  When it goes wrong, it's awful.  Because in loving and respecting my family members, and believing as strongly as I do that we all need our space to stuff it up, sometimes I expect too much or assume the wrong thing or simply get overwhelmed by what's going with me and not be able to see past it.

This is perhaps an apology as much as it is an exploration.  Because it's better to learn from a mistake than to just feel bad about it.  For me, it's better to think it through and try to understand than to let it go and find that expectations and assumptions are even more off the mark next time.

Brought to you by a day when I was peaceful; then scared, too full and then too empty of adrenalin; and then very lonely for a while.

No perfume was harmed in the production of this post.

Friday, March 9, 2012

IWD - Gaga says it again!

Just Dance

Following my post on the Lady, I noticed this

.. which some of you might enjoy.  I hereby declare I am an occasional Gaga fan, but the confluence of my (quiet) feminism, this day (International Women's Day) and the need to dance to a good beat, leads me to publish this.

For the record, (and to quote myself elsewhere) no major fails yesterday or today.  In fact, today I caught up with two friends, bought two things I don't need, and failed to shout at anybody.


Brought to you by the amusement I got scrolling through my new browser screen wallpaper options - they offer images from Dolce and Gabbana, Akiro Kurosawa and a few other big name designers.  Not, sadly, Gucci or Prada.  Not that I can see, anyway.


Wednesday, March 7, 2012

To quote Lady GaGa...


Today I signed the builder's contract.  Today!!!!

We are cautiously but confidently confident that we'll see machinery on site in a week or so, weather permitting.

I'm trying to focus on this considering this was my first 'job' of the day, and the rest of it went downhill.


Tuesday, March 6, 2012

And furthermore..

The List of Doom took a serious blow today.  At last!

Credit union dude helped me work out why the monies was busted.  We applied a cyber-bandaid and I should be able to feed the children again in a week or so.  Phew!

In other news, the temporary replacement/new/replacement new/new temporary replacement washing machine will be delivered tomorrow morning, pending proper replacement of the new replacement machine.  My fears for my festering clothes .. allayed to some extent by the office people's offer to launder them (if and when they ever see the light of day again).  At least (says she attempting levity) they'll be really REALLY well-rinsed...

Today we both feel a sense of achievement after a lot of fanging around on and off campus.  No-one got lost, wet or combobulated.  We dined thanks to me mum, again.  Tomorrow whoopee! we will try something called Eating At A Restaurant.

That's better.

[Brought to you by a minor panic over not having a clean shirt, and some delicious blasts of Gucci.]

Monday, March 5, 2012

Merely remarking..

.. that my list of Things What Utterly Can't Be Ignored is freaking me out.  No detail too small.

And now five visits by assorted Uni maintenance/fixer/helper-type ppl have still not got the washing machine working.  The unloadable wet washing from Friday is going to be pretty nasty when the door is finally opened.

I'm tired.  Don't wanna try to be funny.  Don't wanna go on wrangling care agency staff problems at 9pm and midnight (5 nights out of seven so far).  Definitely don't wanna be a stand-in carer for the ones who don't show or don't know what to do.  High risk activity for a sore back.


Friday, March 2, 2012

Note to self:


- not a good idea to complain.  It just encourages those pesky gods of interference and nortiness.

- not a good idea to complain.  Doesn't make anything feel better.

- not a good idea to complain.  Gives others funny ideas about me not being made of tungsten after all

- not a good idea to complain.  I thought we had a good outcome following the NO rant; then the washing machine died.  The BRAND NEW washing machine.  Just a little failure-ette; the door won't open.  But it's full of washed clothes and (naturally) it's Friday arvo so I fear what festering fabric festiness awaits when a service dude can come (perhaps) on Monday!

- not a good idea to complain.  Makes me home-sick for my norty cat.

- not a good idea....

Better ideas:

- cats

- fresh-baked cinnamon rolls for brekkie ... AND

- FBCRFB baked by a bestie!  Purrfect.

- TGIF! So I can stop listing for a bit.

- strangely enough my middle name isn't Pollyanna, but I can count a few blessings..  and sit quietly Home Alone for a while.  M is out boozing with a dorter!

- sitting down in general.  Have I (yeah I know I have) ever mentioned (only a few dozen times) my fabbo Ikea chair?  My beloved Poang?  Yep, got it at the flat.  Am currently jiggling one leg whilst blogging on the other.  A form of purrfection fur sure.

- perfume.  Tricky choice today.  Partly cos I dropped in to Proper Home to apologise to my pusscat and get the mail.  She followed me to the bedroom and pointed at my cold, empty bed.  I agreed with the sentiment but got (easily) distracted by my collection of gorgeous lil bottles.  Settled on ... can you guess??


Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Hitting the wall (take THAT!!)..

Rotten day today.

HOURS on the phone wrangling case manager, care agency, gp, and the future of the Western World As We Know It... felt like it anyway.  We have a problem with a carer who won't take no for an answer.

As in, NO you can't sit in our living room (one of our four rooms) for two hours from 10pm, in between shifts.  Ever heard of privacy?

NO you can't demand I change my mind by saying that while you are sitting there you are praying that god will help M get up and walk again.  I don't DO theology and especially not at that hour, in me nightie.

NO you also can't tell me it's a problem for you because you have to drive 'all the way to Gunghalin and back' in between shifts.  All the way??!!

NO it is also not my problem that you therefore use petrol and as you are a student you feel worried about money.  This is your JOB, isn't it??  IE, didn't you agree to take money for what you do?  Didn't you discuss these issues with your employer?

NO I won't intervene for you with the care agency to discuss a possible problem with rosters/shift times/what you think you were told by text.

NO it is not ok for you to be angry with me, the agency staff on the phone, or M.  Nor is it okay for you to pout and talk (again) about your problems.  I am not your charity!!


NO I don't bloody want anyone else to have to talk to, notice, acknowledge, consider or even ignore.  I wrangle, advocate, work, pester, push, pacify, organise, discuss, note, assess and ignore Major Issues all day.  At night I'd prefer I be left alone with my honey, my fan (and damn this endless humid weather), and my bucket of icy limoncello.

All of this would be so much easier if I was being badly treated by a cat.


.. (YES, I discussed all this with the care agency.  And YES, I can 'sack' him if necessary.)

UPDATE: In spite of its originally fairly dire predictions, the care agency has replaced this difficult carer with others.  We still have a couple of shifts to go, but I'm clear that he has to be 'sacked' from us and that we are not asking for something unusual or problematic.  It's a pity we couldn't work it out.  Another Lesson Learned.