Friday, June 20, 2008

SAVE ME!!!!!

We're still working our asses off trying to get ready to go away.  I am still mystified by the amount of things that must be done so that we can 'just walk away'.  Huh.  That's a bloody wrong concept if ever I heard one.

I spose getting ready to travel does tend to focus the mind on 'what will I need to take?'; 'what must be done to leave things in order whilst away?; 'how much of a pain in the arse will it be if I forget x or do/don't do y?'.  But JEEEEEEEZ I seem to be living a very complicated life.

We have a three-person cat-feeding system.  Involving two different types of food (one purr cat), strange maneouvres with a dimplex heater in front of the cat door, also a closed/open door system to allow/deny access (one cat is not allowed out unsupurrvised).  Then there's the basics of leaving the house secure but accessible for all these kind people.  And writing out the details of cat care, including detailed instructions on how to apply harness to cat which needs to be walked.  Yes, I said harness, and walk.  Just don't ask, orright?

Empty the fridge of anything which might go pong by the time we return.  Cancel the papers.  Make sure the right bills are paid so we don't get back to a posse.  Lock up the car.  Put bits of gardening junk away including items which a burguler might handily use to break in.  Then run around inside locking windows and finding the other deck door key and hiding tempting-looking items (at this stage of paranoia that means everything except perhaps the cat box).  Start to think of what to pack and get distracted trying to find the unopened packet of decaf beans.  Then remember the plunger would be good too and look sadly at how big it is.

Think Dark Thoughts about how I have nothing to wear, not even a potato sack.  Wonder for the umpteenth time how come M can travel anywhere, anytime, anyhow, with one pair of shoes and his thongs.  Me no savvy.  What, no pink leopard-patterned courts?  No spare Berkies for those long walks days?  And what about a proper pair of lace-ups in case it rains.  And then, my god, all the matching slippers and tights and sockies and nail polish.  It's madness.

I am I think ready to ditch the idea that if I just take a complete outfit per day, and damn the fact that this means seven suitcases, I will be ok.  I don't have seven outfits.  Unless it's ok to get around in my jarmies or perhaps two carefully pinned sarongs and a fake hibiscus flower.

I'm tired.

I think I shall throw in the red daks, the orange and purple thongs, the lime-green sunhat and 6 bottles of purrfume.  Surely that will cover everything that matters?  Oh alright, I'll stick a cotton top in too.  One of the boring white ones so that everything I drop, dribble, touch, encounter and experience will make its mark.  On the unironed surface, sorry mum.

Seeya.  If I go mad at least I'll smell gorgeous.  The scent trail today was a blend of the Aigner from last post, and some Prada because it always always makes me feel like a princess.  And THAT is such a funny concept now I feel better and I shall go and look at my suitcase with more optimistic eyes.

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