Blank and numb..

We miss Maccy.

We can hear him squikking at the door, wanting more food, demanding access to the bed. I heard him quite distinctly earlier this evening, saying 'you call that DINNER??'.

I ate my dinner on a tray on my lap, unmonstered by a large purring black bucket attempting to nick all the best bits for hisself.

All my little prickly-paw spots have healed up.

We scattered some rose petals on his grave this evening. At the moment it is decorated with five pavers with a rather elegant cat design on them. Later we'll put down some cobblestones to hold everything more firmly in place. Meantime he's at one with the petunias, watching the streetscape and waiting for someone to stop and say hello.

Wendy is very quiet, not actually looking for him, but somewhat subdued and behaving remarkably well. This is quite ominous - we've had her for nearly four years and good behaviour and general manageability have not been elements we associate with her character. More like chomping, ambushing, sleeping in norty places (like on M's desk, or up on the dining table), running away when we call her, charging up trees to show off, etc.

This is horrible. I hope we manage acceptance fairly soon. Meantime I am somewhat soothed by the amazing Indian summer we're having, and the pleasures of immersing myself in a rather silly but absorbing new computer game.

Today brought to you by L'Occitane Almond Oil, Jo Malone Nutmeg and Ginger Cologne, and Jo Malone Red Roses body cream. The best and most delicate of my scents. And I still feel like crap.